Life with a fast boy

The challenges in raising our ADHD son

Let me begin by saying that I am not a professional in any way regarding attention deficit hyperactivity disorder [ADHD], I am only speaking regarding my personal research and experience.

Our son is nine years old. I had him when I was just 21 and he was my whole world. He came into my life unexpectedly but completed me in more ways than I knew possible. He was a very easy baby, always happy and sleeping through the night starting at 6 weeks old. I considered myself very fortunate as I had seen other moms have a tougher time. The real fun began when he was about a year and a half.

Growing up, Hunter was a very busy boy. He was constantly into everything and climbing on all the things. He would unroll an entire roll of toilet paper like I’ve never seen before and he was absolutely fearless. He was not a picky child when it came to food and he was always eating. Hunter enjoyed playing outside most days and it was always a struggle to get him to come in at the end of the day. He has always been an early riser and never had troubles sleeping.

When Hunter was around the age of four, we noticed that he was getting more and more picky with his food, his temper would flare up and he would throw things, he would never stop talking and running around. We used to say he had unlimited energy. This is the age we put him in his first sport. T-ball. We never made it to his first game. He cried every single practice and never participated. The best we got from him was hitting the ball (once) and running to first base then sitting down to play in the dirt. The season ended before it really began.

Hunter had done two years of pre-k before enter kindergarten and his teachers have always had positive things to say about him. Except his first grade teacher but that was more her than him. [That’s a post for a different day]. We knew from the start that he was smart, he knew his letters, numbers and colors before starting school, he picked up on writing and reading very quickly and he is always done with his classwork ahead of others.

I will never forget the day I went into his room to check on him and he had all of his hot wheels lined up by color. I asked him why he did it that way and his response will forever baffle me; “because that is what makes sense mommy”. Well of course, why wouldn’t I know that?! This is when I knew just how special Hunter is.

School brought out the good and the bad of our son. He excels in classwork but struggles in other areas. Listening is the hardest thing for us as well as impulse control. Hunter struggles with following directions and thinking before doing things. These two are symptoms of ADHD.

I am a research addict (duh) and I can’t say that I was surprised to learn that Hunter had a lot of the same characteristics of those with ADHD.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is classified as the most commonly diagnosed mental disorder in children. Children with this disorder might be hyperactive, restless, have little to no impulse control, sensory issues, overstimulation issues, troubles paying attention, as well as other issues that affect the daily life of the child.

Hunter suffers from all of these symptoms. Life before medication was brutal. Most days we both ended up crying out of frustration, Hunter spent a lot of quiet time in his room, I spent a lot of time researching ways to help him and his brain manage the day-to-day activities. Hunter would act out and yell and throw things, he would hit us and his cousins, he would break toys or color on his bedroom walls and our biggest struggle was following directions. We thought he was hard of hearing and at one point we even had his hearing tested. We would hardly take him places out of fear of him acting out and the turning point for us was when his brother was born and old enough to play, he would hit him and talk mean to him.

The final straw for us was when I asked Hunter to describe how his brain was feeling and his response almost killed me; “it’s just going so fast, I can’t slow it down and I can’t control it, I just wish it would slow down.” It was time to reach out to his doctor.

Hunter was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. We knew it was coming and we were expecting it but it is still tough to hear those words. This is something that we will have to help him handle for the rest of his life. No parent wants that news and it was hard for us to adjust. As a family, we decided that medication was the best course of action at this time and we started with a low dose.

Once we finally found the right dosage for him, the change in behavior was almost immediate. He was able to slow his brain down as he calls it and he was able to think before reacting to any situation. This not only helped at home but it helped at school. He was able to pay attention, not distract other children and complete his work on time. We still struggle with impulse control and listening but overall, he is a totally different kid than when he doesn’t take his medicine.

[Hunter struggles with talking kindly to his brother, impulse control (taking things from his brother and sister before asking or hitting before thinking), he is overly emotional sometimes, he has a need to have control of every single person and situation, he talks back constantly, constantly asking for things he wants, getting upset when something doesn’t go exactly how he wants as well as other little things that we manage daily. Over-stimulation is also something that we have struggled with. When there is a lot going on and we are very busy (think birthday parties or holidays), Hunter has a hard time. He plays so hard on those days and is constantly on the go, it is very tough for him to wind down and relax. Too much sugar and not enough sleep also plays a role in Hunter’s behavior so this is something we monitor as well].

While some days are a struggle, there is so much good within this little man. He is strong and independent. He is very smart and our little engineer. He is so funny and really has the best jokes. As tough as he is, he really loves his brother and sister and I am sure he would do anything for them. I worry about him and what his life will be like going into his teen years but I am confident that we will be able to navigate them together. My hope for him is that he grows up to do great things in this world. I hope he will be strong yet kind to others. Above all, I hope he knows how much we love him and we would do anything for him.

If you or someone you know suffers from ADHD, share in the comments below. Tell me how you manage or what works for you!

 

xoxo